Timmy wanted to have a scary-good time on Halloween. But, Timmy didn’t follow the rules. Timmy didn’t play it safe. Now, Timmy is dead.
While Halloween may seem like a harmless night full of treats and candy, there are plenty of tricks and dreadful dangers lurking behind every mask and jack-o-lantern. Boys and ghouls of all ages are still susceptible to being spooked, and it’s important to stay safe during this All Hallows Eve.
Also See: Drinks and Horror Movie Pairings: Everyone’s Entitled to One [Drunken] Scare
But, have no fear—Wicked Horror is here! With our guidance and safety tips, you and your pumpkin will know exactly how to survive the night, without any fright! And remember kids, when it comes to Halloween candy: If in doubt, throw it out!
Costume Safety
Wearing the latest costume craze may seem like an excellent idea, but some costume choices are downright scary! Comfortable, safe costume selections are important to have a spooktacular evening.
While masks are an easy choice and seem like fun, some can be very dangerous. Eye holes and barely-there slits for the nose and mouth can make it hard to see or breath! And, if the mask is made by Silver Shamrock, it may melt your face! You wouldn’t want to fall when walking down a dark street, get hit by a car, suffocate, or have a bazillion insects protrude from your melting head…would you? Ouch, that sounds painful!
Because not everyone can be as suave as Dr. Challis (Tom Atkins) and elude this sweaty conundrum, it’s best to avoid wearing a mask all together. We know what you’re thinking. “But, I want to be as suave as Dr. Challis!” Well, you can’t. But here’s what you can do for a creative Halloween look: Grab a Member’s Only jacket, apply a fake mustache to your upper lip and carry around a can of beer. You’ll be fighting off prospective suitors in no time.
Be Proactive
Remember: idle hands are the devil’s workshop, and they do the devil’s work. Don’t be lazy and forgetful this Halloween, because carelessness can get you killed. It’s important to look both ways before crossing the street, be aware of your surroundings, and beware of body parts that may become possessed.
We know it can be easy to lollygag on Halloween, stuffing your face with candy, but your chances of being hurt are frightening! And we wouldn’t want you to get hurt, now would we?
To keep your hand from literally developing a mind of its own and setting out on a murder spree, keep busy with safe Halloween activities—like making out with an angel-wing Jessica Alba.
Practice Safe Sex
There comes an extraordinary time in a person’s life when they’re ready to share their love with another person. Because Halloween can be pretty romantic, you may be feeling extra emotional and ready to take the next step with that special someone.
This feeling that you’re having is only natural, and Wicked Horror encourages you to explore your inner werewolf on Halloween. While someone may have you under their spell, it’s important to stay safe!
You’ll want the moment to be magical. Don’t go to an abandoned old house where a boy murdered his sister fifteen years prior. Your chances of running into him there are very strong. And dying while naked in a dirty old house doesn’t seem like fun, does it?
Instead, cuddle up at home with Netflix…and chill. There’s nothing that entices people to be sexual more than watching scary movies together.
No séances or rituals, please!
The scariest monster of all is peer pressure. Don’t let friends persuade you into participating in harmful activities this Halloween.
While everyone at the party may think it’s harmless fun to conjure up demons in an old mortuary during a séance, those demons can really hurt you. They’ll possess your body and make you do bad things. And nobody likes a party-pooper who ruins things for everyone else by murdering them.
Instead, stand out among the crowd. Be different and creative. Sing karaoke, carve some pumpkins, or tell scary stories. The stories won’t send you to hell like the séance will.
Don’t Talk to Strangers
Stranger danger! Stranger Danger!
While some people look harmless on the outside, they have evil intentions and want to do you harm! Safety is more important than good manners, and it’s OK to just say no to strangers asking for help.
To dodge a dangerous situation be assertive, don’t talk to strangers and if necessary, RUN! Don’t ever get into a stranger’s car or worse—allow one into your car! C’mon, you’re smarter than that!
Follow the Rules
Don’t be a rule breaker. Your mom and dad raised you to be better than that. Keep traditions alive by keeping your jack-o-lantern lit, diligently checking your candy before eating it, and always wear a (flame retardant) costume!
The rules are simple. Follow them and your night will be fun, safe and survivable. Happy Halloween!
Other Trick -or-Treating Don’ts:
- Don’t go near men in bunny costumes
- Don’t trespass on private property
- Don’t summon or unleash ancient demons, witches, or any other evil entities
